❝ Many strong girls have similar stories: They were socially isolated and lonely in adolescence. Smart girls are often the girls most rejected by peers. Their strength is a threat and they are punished for being different. Girls who are unattractive or who don’t worry about their appearance are scorned. This isolation is often a blessing because it allows girls to develop a strong sense of self. Girls who are isolated emerge from adolescence more independent and self-sufficient than girls who have been accepted by others. Strong girls may protect themselves by being quiet and guarded so that their rebellion is known by only a few trusted others. They may be cranky and irascible and keep critics at a distance so that only people who love them know what they are up to. They may have the knack of shrugging off the opinions of others or they may use humor to deflect the hostility that comes their way. ❞
Looking through past posts concerning social problems between partners or groups of roleplayers, the issue of possessiveness and the clinging to partners arises which can create rifts between partners and the entirety of the group.
It’s important to understand that your partner is not an object, they are another human being, just like you.
I say this because it is rude to be possessive of a partner.
How is someone being possessive of a roleplay partner?
They get extremely jealous of their partner roleplaying with other, and get upset with their partner for doing so.
They yell at/become upset at the other party roleplaying with their partner and tell them not to do so.
They tell their partner that if they roleplay with someone else that they will no longer roleplay with them.
They attempt to guilt trip their partner into roleplaying with them only by claiming things such as, ‘Am I not good enough?’ 'Why do you have to roleplay with others? Do I suck that bad?’
They will tell others that their partner is ‘theirs’. Ex. “You can’t roleplay with Alex…He’s mine!”
They show their possessiveness by causing their character to be extremely clingy to their partner’s character.
It’s important to understand that your roleplay partner is allowed to roleplay with anyone else, and that includes roleplaying with people that are not you. They have that right. It is not an attack on your roleplaying abilities. It is not an attack on you as a person. It is not an attack on their ideal of you as a partner.
Your roleplay partner is allowed to branch out to however many partners they so feel like it, and it is not your place to say that they cannot have any partners outside of you. That’s just rude.
This also includes telling your partner that their character cannot be in any other romantic relationship except with your character. That’s rude.
If your partner has a Multiple Storyline Character, these parallel universes allow your partners character to be in as many relationships as they so choose without them relating in anyway, coinciding in anyway, etc.
Be considerate of your partner and how THEY feel about it. No one likes being guilt tripped. No one likes being yelled at for a hobby that is supposed to be FUN, not stressing. No one likes to be restricted in such a hobby.
It is not your place to tell someone what they can and cannot do in terms of interacting with others. It’s incredibly mean of you to do such a thing and you need to take a step back and see how you could be hurting someone else’s feelings if you realize that you are doing this to someone else.
Don’t be possessive of a roleplay partner. They are not an object. They are allowed to make any decision they want when it comes to roleplay, and you don’t have a say in how many partners they’re allowed to have.
Because in the end, no one is obligated to roleplay with you, and for you to put restrictions on someone who is willingly choosing to roleplay with you is just seriously unkind.
So, don’t do that.
Going to make this clear that this PSA reblog is in no way targetting anyone who follows me, or any of my mutuals. This is a reblog for raising awareness to the definition of the terms.
I am also going to add a foot note to this about jealousy.
Everyone will at times get jealous or envious of another person; this is natural. Sometimes it isn’t always linked to them being a possessive partner. Sometimes it is rather linked to them seeing something that starts to grate on them.
For example if you start reblogging praise, promos and references for a full week or more about ONLY ONE PERSON whom you have as a partner this can cause that grating. People might not always admit it but seeing constant public praise from you for one person can get slowly tiring if it goes on for too many days in a row. This can start to cause a negative feeling in some of your partners and can in fact instill jealousy.
This being said make sure that you review what you have done for a past week before assuming someone is being possessive just because they are displaying jealousy. They may in fact be looking instead for you to simply show some public appreciation and praise for them and others that you follow and partner with.
Just remember that humans are social creatures and our minds are wired to quickly pick up on and build on feelings of ostracism; even if it is faint. If we feel excluded from something we feel hurt and try to do what we can to get included or noticed. Don’t confuse that desire to feel included through mild jealousy as someone being a possessive partner.
Maui is a powerful demigod. Big and strong and… oh, you think he looks fat?
That’s probably because you’ve been conditioned by the media to accept this
as what strong and fit looks like. Amiright?
Sadly… these guys are not all that strong. Yeah, they got muscles… but they aren’t built in a useful way. They are built for looks and that’s about it.
This…
is a strong guy. Actually a competitor in the Strongman competition. But… his tummy sticks out and he doesn’t look like a Dorito.
You know who else is strong?
These guys…
And Maui…
Look at those arms, omg. And that solid, sturdy torso. You can see a shadow where his meat covers his ribs, but he doesn’t look like any slouch to me.
And this guy…
That’s Dwayne Johnson’s grandfather. When the Disney animators showed him their sketches of Maui, he pulled out a picture of his grandfather and showed it to them because he was amazed how similar they looked. This dude was also a pro wrestler.
There’s actually a great infographic about ab muscles and stuff over HERE. but this is the part i want to show you.
That thickness don’t move like fat. It doesn’t jiggle and he’s able to flex it. Look at how it sits on his body. It doesn’t sag… he doesn’t have a gut. There’s even a slight V shape to his torso.
It’s just big and not ‘defined’.
And people aren’t used to that.
(sorry, this isn’t the most organized post… i kinda just let it all spill out)
There are few things as soul-crushing in the writing process (at least to me) than getting a bunch of characters in a room with the intention of something happening, then the characters proceed to stand around and stare at each other.
Or worse, look at you like this.
My characters didn’t know why they were there. I didn’t know why they were there either. I had no clue what they were supposed to be doing, so I’d start throwing random instructions at them: “Fight, characters! You guys should fight now! Maybe fighting will make this event have a purpose!” Which inevitably resulted in characters going through the motions of battle for no apparent reason, like they had all lost their minds.
What was the problem? I didn’t know how to write a scene. I didn’t know what a scene was. I had a vague definition that it was something about changing scenery, or just “something happening”.
It’s not. And once I learned what a scene was, my characters got to stop pummeling each other, while wishing they could pummel me.
So what is a scene?
The definition of a scene is kind of like the definition of a story. Story is change, a massive change in the life of your main character. A scene is change too, but much smaller, and part of that huge story change. You couldn’t have the BIG change without these tiny changes. Thus, a scene is not switching scenery. It’s not flipping to a new Character’s POV. It’s one segment of change, which triggers the next change, which triggers the next, which gradually build into sequences, which build into Acts, which build into story.
So what goes into a scene? How does it work?
1. Alternating Charges
If a scene opens positive, it will turn negative by the end. If it opens negative, it will end positive. Simple.
2. Character Goals
Everybody in a scene wants something. If they don’t want anything, they shouldn’t be in the scene. And these characters, with their often opposing goals, are going to employ different tactics on each other to get what they want. Which creates …
3. Escalating Conflict
Conflict is created when one character wants one thing and another wants something else, right? So the characters in the scene are each pushing for something different, each new tactic increasing in determination. And what are these actions called?
4. Beats
The beats of a scene are exchanges of action and reaction. One character does something, another character reacts. All exchanges (beats) are pushing the scene onward, building tension and conflict, until finally …
5. Turns & Revelations
The scene turns. The positive has changed to negative. Something has been discovered. The story has spun in a new direction.
6. Connection to Story Objective
Every scene must be connected to the BIG goal of the story, the main character is taking small actions to reach that big goal. If it isn’t obviously connected to this big plot, it won’t make sense. Your reader won’t know why the heck they’re reading the scene. Which brings us to …
7. Logic & Necessity
Every scene must be necessary. It must be able to be linked with the previous scene. “Because that happened in the previous scene, THIS must happen in this scene.”
So! To see how that all works, let’s break down a scene from Tangled. (Because I used it in the last post to map out how a premise works, and my little writer heart can’t resist symmetry.)
Rapunzel’s Goal: Rise up against her mother – finally.
Gothel’s Goal: Regain control.
Escalating Conflict: They’re fighting over who controls Rapunzel, and this battle causes them to go from “mother and daughter” to “enemies”. The conflict builds nicely in this scene, causing the story turn.
Connection to Story Objective: Throughout the movie, the big thing Rapunzel wants is freedom, she wants her life to begin, she wants to have a new dream. This is the moment she figures out how to do that; it’s not escaping the tower, it’s escaping Gothel’s control over her.
So! Here’s the scene.
Beat 1
“Rapunzel? Rapunzel, what’s going on up there?”
Ignores her. Still processing the tremendous implications of this revelation.
Beat 2
“Are you alright?“
“I’m the lost princess.” (Dumbfounded. Almost whispering it to herself.)
Beat 3
“Oh, please speak up Rapunzel! You know how I hate the mumbling.” (Bullying.)
“I am the lost princess! Aren’t I?” (Fighting back. She will not be bullied anymore.)
Beat 4
Gothel stares, stunned. She’s rendered temporarily speechless, because her secret’s been revealed finally, and her victim is actually fighting against her.
“Did I mumble, Mother? Or should I even call you that?” (Accusing. Drawing herself up taller. Looking down on Gothel and glaring. She’s seeing her clearly for the first time in her life.)
Beat 5
After a pause, thinking up a tactic. “Oh, Rapunzel, do you even hear yourself? How could you ask such a ridiculous question?” (Laughs. Ridicules. Attempts to make her feel childish, dumb, worthy of being mocked. Tactics which have always worked. She even begins to hug her.)
Rapunzel pushes her. “It was you! It was all you!” (Still accusing and angry, but pain is beginning to show. It’s almost like she’s giving her a chance to explain herself.)
Beat 6
“Everything I did was to protect you.” (And Gothel doesn’t say anything redeeming. She’s holier than thou, regal, bestowing kindness on an ungrateful, stupid child. Trying to control through guilt.)
Rapunzel rams her out of the way.
Beat 7
“Rapunzel!” (Shouting. Now trying anger.)
“I’ve spent my entire life hiding from people who would use me for my power …” (Leaves her.)
Beat 8
“Rapunzel!” (Still trying the anger angle.)
“But I should have been hiding from you.” (Throwing the truth at her.)
Beat 9
“Where will you go? He won’t be there for you.” (She’s tried everything else. It’s time to attack her heart.)
“What did you do to him?” (Fear)
Beat 10
“That criminal is to be hanged for his crimes.” (She’s keeping up the disapproving mother act, but striking her right where it will hurt her most.)
“No.” (She’s stopped. Shrinking in on herself. Staring, horrified. And Gothel thinks she’s won.)
Beat 11
“Now, now. It’s alright. Listen to me. All of this is as it should be.” She goes to pat Rapunzel’s head, a gesture symbolic of her superiority, her physical, mental, and emotional control over her victim.
Rapunzel grabs Gothel’s wrist. “No! You were wrong about the world. And you were wrong about me! And I will never let you use my hair again!“
Beat 12
Gothel wrenches free, stumbling backwards in shock and anger, breaking the mirror in the process.
"You want me to be the bad guy? Fine. Now I’m the bad guy.” (Well, now emotional control is over. It’s time to start stabbing Rapunzel’s boyfriend.)
This action has no reaction, interestingly. It leaves us hanging, a cliffhanger created with only beats.
Closing Charge: Negative. She’s now a full-fledged villain, the motherly persona shed, and she’s determined to get what she wants whatever the cost.
Turn: It changed from positive to negative, and now we’ve got a Flynn-stabbing witch to deal with.
Revelation: She’s always been evil. She has always been the bad guy. The motherly act was just that, an act.
Logic & Necessity: This scene fits with the previous scene, and the one that follows.
Though I’ve seen these concepts in many books, the place I first learned about it (and the best resource for scene design in my opinion) is the book Story by Robert McKee. It’s helped me countless times, is one of my favorite books on storytelling, and I highly recommend it if you write anything.
I realize that these definitions were a little vague, so I’ll be explaining things more thoroughly in subsequent posts.
